September Inspirations

We have all witnessed quite a range of reactions to the world around us lately. More than ever it has become clear to me that the only reaction that matters is my own. 

Fear has ramped up its staff and offers an enormous buffet to choose from, if that’s the table you choose to sit at. No judgement here, if you found yourself taking a bite or going back for a third plate, you’re not alone. I have sat at that table myself. The human mind unvisited is heavily wired to avoid pain at all costs with little understanding of what is actually creating that pain and virtually no emphasis on what may bring genuine, lasting happiness. It has become very popular to joke about 2020 and how it’s been a year of complete chaos. While there is humor in some of this, what’s happening around you ultimately only affects you as much as you decide it will. 

For context, I’d like to share with you a brief overview of what my journey this year has consisted of. My mother, who embodies love more than any human I’ve ever met was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at 59 years young. The industry I worked in took a massive blow, causing the majority of my family who has worked relentlessly for years and years to find themselves laid off. The end of a 14-year relationship with my partner. Oh, and apparently a pandemic as well.

Did fear show up in each of these moments? Absolutely, but do you know what else showed up for me? 

An entirely new understanding of what is on the other side of life as we know it. The realization that all I ever wanted for my mom is to be happy, no matter what that looks like. She smiles and laughs with me every single day. In a strange turn of events, there has been so much beauty in this transition for my mother. She has become childlike again, she just wants to enjoy herself and we’ve found a thousand ways to make sure that happens. She doesn’t worry about the bills, schedule, or to-do list anymore. To watch the parent/child rolls reverse and to see the look in my mother’s eyes knowing she has complete trust in me brings me to tears. I’ve stepped into a power that required processing the pain and marching forward with love, because that is the only thing that can create what we both need right now. 

Much of my family’s life was sustained on careers that they hated. After being laid off, I was eventually offered a chance to return to my previous position I had for the last decade. Because I allowed myself a little time to look into my heart, I rejected the offer, knowing it was time to step into something that I’m meant for. By allowing space in the absence of my previous career, things that words cannot describe have shown up in my life. People, experiences and opportunities that truly fuel my soul. 

While I know of no way to unravel a 14-year relationship without facing heavy realities, if it is done from the heart, what follows will match that vibration. I see my previous partner as a beautifully unique soul with his own journey, not an extension of what I believe will complete me. To love someone enough to look them in the eyes and say I think we both are looking for more in this life is an entirely different level of compassion for another than holding onto them because of the comfort they bring you.

My understanding of love, for myself and for another, has completely transformed. To truly love someone means wanting what is absolutely best for each individual, no matter what that looks like for you personally. Then allowing them the opportunity to pursue their dreams without attaching your own lower frequency needs to the equation. Often people look at the end of a relationship and tell themselves that was a waste of many years. I can say with the purest love in my heart, my time was not wasted. I was blessed to know a soul in a way no one else ever will, and to have someone know a version of me that only existed in our time together. As we said goodbye, he kept repeating to me “thank you for everything you’ve done”. We love each other enough to embody it even through separation. There was no wasted time there. 

I share my recent experiences to serve as a reminder that we have the opportunity to perceive everything we encounter however we choose to. This is some of what I have navigated this year, and because of what I have chosen to see, it has been the best year of my life thus far. 

What has shown up for you lately? How did you choose to embrace these things? The world itself is constantly undergoing massive shifts and all of this starts from within each individual soul. I see these times as a reminder to pause every unconscious response I have and to look deeper into my own heart. I saw by not reacting to the world around me, the world itself did not suffer from my absence. In fact, it benefitted. When you are clear on who you are and you let love guide the way, you can bring forward an entirely different, gracefully empowered version of yourself.

2020 has presented all of us many opportunities to decide who we want to be. When it is all said and done, it is only as chaotic as you allow it to be. 2020 is not out to get you, it is yours for the taking. I send love to each of you, knowing we all have our own journeys to navigate. Allow the pause. Take time to sit with your thoughts and dreams. Know that you get to choose in every single instance who you want to be and how you want to perceive the world around you.

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/september-inspirations/

Confession #19

Your Why + Your Will = Your Success

When I was in the thick of withdrawal from opiate pain pill addiction, there was one thing that kept going through my mind. YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS.

If you have never been through any kind of withdrawal, I’m here to tell you, it’s literally hell on earth. I’ve pushed two children out of me, which is the most unbearable pain you can imagine….and it has nothing on withdrawal. Withdrawal is more than just physical pain. It’s a total and complete mind fuck.

You think you have problems controlling your thoughts now? Try battling those thoughts moment after moment after moment just to survive. Thoughts that include, you are going to feel this way your whole life, you will never get past this, you will be an addict your whole life, you are completely fucked up, there are literally bugs crawling inside your body right now, all you have to do is take one little piece to make this all stop, why don’t you just find a gun and put it to your head and then it can all go away.

But along with the mind fuck, the sensations in your body are indescribable. Your shaky, sick to your stomach, hot, cold, you can’t breathe, it feels like constant electrical pulses on top of all of your skin and a million bugs crawling on the inside of your skin. It feels like your body is going to explode and then implode and at times you wish it would.

I would try and distract myself with a movie, deep breathing, meditation. It was a joke. There was NOTHING that was going to get me out of this. I would try and feel the sensations deeper thinking that would make it go away. But I also did it as a reminder. To never forget what I was going through….and how it would feel to get to the other side.

For some reason I have always had the belief that if you can just make it through the night, things are always better in the morning. Well, I don’t know if I felt any better that next morning, but I made it through the night without putting a bullet through my brain. And more importantly, without taking any pills.

I remember texting my friend at one point the next day, getting close to my desperation point, telling her I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out, that I felt weaker by the second. I will never forget what she told me. Something I still tell myself to this day. She said, “You are wrong my dear….you are actually getting stronger with every second that passes.”

She was right. I was getting stronger by the moment. See, I had the pills in my purse the whole time. I could have ended the withdrawal at any time. But you want to know why I didn’t? Would I couldn’t? Because of my why and my will.

I talk about the withdrawal as an example of how those two things together can move mountains. Most people told me I wouldn’t be able to just cold turkey myself after a ten year addiction to pain pills. That the withdrawal would last for months and I would have all kinds of crazy side effects. That I should just slowly wean myself off to “be safe”.

But my why was bigger than that. And my will would get me there.

I knew that if I wanted to become the person I was supposed to be, the person I was put on this planet to be, there was no way she could be birthed with this part of her holding on. My vision for my life was big. And the shame of being an addict was no longer going to rule my life. I was going to get through it, whatever it took, so I could help millions of others that felt stuck, scared, and desperate. So that I could help show them the way out of all of those things. So that I could change the world. And that person was not addicted to pain pills. She was fearless and didn’t let anything stand in her way.

That was two years ago. I’ve not had a moment since then where I have felt the need to take a pill. The thing that still holds my feet to the fire to this day, is my why. I have always had a massive amount of willpower. Some could say I’m stubborn, but I like to call myself driven J But the point is, you can have will power and that may get you to a certain point. But if you don’t have a why, you will never be truly fulfilled. You can work out every day, eat the healthiest foods, write hundreds of books, or get up at the same time every morning. But if you don’t have a why, none of those things will make a difference. True success is having your why, your own personal deeper purpose, and then the will power to make it happen.

I’m not saying in any way that this is what all people need to do to stop their addiction. In fact, I’ve asked myself so many times, how in the hell did I get through that? But I truly believe that thoughts are things and they are what create your experience on this earth. So my belief in myself and my bigger vision allowed me to do what many said I couldn’t.

I remember telling myself a few days after getting through the worst of it that if I could make it through that, I could make it through anything. That I would be absolutely fearless in my life and that I would never forget those moments. Well, while I still have fears that hold me back and things I am always working through, I am pretty damn fearless in my pursuit to change the world. And what better why can you have than that…

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/confession-19/

Confession #18

“Breathing is the first act of life and the last. Our very life depends on it. Since we cannot live without breathing, it is tragically deplorable to contemplate the millions and millions who have never mastered the art of correct breathing.” -Joseph Pilates

Frequency. Energy.

Let’s talk about this for a minute and break it down. How does it affect us? How does it affect our lives? What does it even mean?

Well, I like to keep things simple, so here is an easy explanation. You know those days that you feel crappy, pissy, moody, as though nothing can go your way? I’m sure you have heard the phrase, when it rains it pours. You know how when you are feeling that way it seems like the world is against you? Or let’s look at the opposite end of that. Think about the days that you wake up feeling unbelievable, as though nothing can touch you. “Good luck” seems to pour down from the heavens above you. It’s as though everything you touch turns to gold. That the world is for you.

But what if you looked at those situations and instead of giving your power away to some “outside forces”, what if you realized and took full responsibility for your own energy. Your own frequency. What if I told you there are no outside forces beyond your own? And your connection to a bigger part of you. I think most who read my blog would tend to agree with this and understand it on an intellectual level. You create your reality, right?

But what I see all too often is people understanding this, but not really fully comprehending how it affects every second of their lives. Or worse yet, not applying it.

We can all agree that where your attention goes, your energy flows. Meaning wherever your frequency is, at any given moment, dictates what you “see” in your outside world. It can be as simple as wanting a white Chevy pickup and seeing them everywhere you go, to having the perfect partner show up in your life, to your bank account showing millions.

What I am trying to say is that if you aren’t aware in every moment where your frequency or energy is, how do you expect what you “want” to show up in your life?

If you think about the two examples I gave in the beginning, you can see how very opposite those two frequencies are. One creates stress, anger, powerlessness, disease, unhappiness. The other creates joy, happiness, health, wholeness, things showing up out of the blue. See, you think you can’t control your emotions most of the time or that things happen TO YOU. But if you were to really realize the power you hold inside of you to literally create your reality, I bet you would be checking in with yourself more often.

So, let’s look at this in a real time example. Say you had started your day off with a great meditation or work-out or journaling session or whatever you do in the mornings that make you feel full. And because you did, you start your day off at a high frequency. You are feeling empowered, full of a future vision of the day and your life. Seeing all the possibilities the future holds and what you want to create in your life. But then all of a sudden you get a phone call from your boss, who you don’t get along with, that sucks you back down. Or you open your mail and see a bill for the exact amount you have in your savings that you have been working on building for the last couple of months. Or you go to the doctor and he tells you your cancer has progressed. THIS is your moment of reckoning. This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where it actually matters to know where your frequency is, and most importantly, how to change it. But you can’t change it if you aren’t aware of it. So your first decision is if you want to give your power away. If you want to let the “outside world” determine how you feel and what your internal world looks like. If you choose not to allow your energy to be taken away, you then have a second step…keeping your frequency elevated. And you know what your number one tool for being able to do that is? Your.Own.Breath. That’s right. You can actually use your breath to keep yourself in a higher frequency, in a higher state. To keep your energy up regardless of what is happening around you! To become extremely present. Most people don’t even realize that the number 8 element on the periodic table is actually their best tool in creating health, wealth, happiness, and joy!

Now, I could go into all of the details of how breathing consciously and intentionally allows you to enter your parasympathetic nervous system, turning off fight or flight, moving oxygen rich blood and cells throughout your entire body stimulating rest and digest along with some powerful self-healing. But I don’t want you to get bogged down with the details (you can work with me one on one for that:-) ). I just want you to take a moment and realize how powerful your own breath is.

Think about most modalities that are taught in life. Lamaze classes. Breathing to stay on top of pain. Martial arts. Breathing to stay focused. Meditation. Breathing to connect. Almost all healing modalities as well as spiritual traditions focus on some aspect of using your own breath. And the best part? Breath work is twofold. It is amazingly powerful in releasing stored energy, old emotions and subconscious beliefs, so you can direct your life in a conscious way. But it’s just as effective for regulating day to day. Just taking a minute every couple hours throughout the day to consciously breathe, big, deep, slow breaths, filling your body with oxygen, can change your entire frequency….which can change your entire life. Instead of taking a xanax to deal with anxiety or a sleeping pill just to get some rest, you can literally use your own supply of oxygen to get the same result. I know because I have seen it over and over again.

Now how does this go back to energy and frequency? If you are spending more hours of your day in a conscious and aware state, appreciating everything around you, feeling joy for the simple things, I can guarantee you, your frequency and energy will bring everything you desire. Because when you are in that state, you don’t need anything anyway. And what is the number one tool you have, that is free, that there is no lack of, that can change your energy in a matter of minutes? I think you know the answer to that by now.

So take a few minutes today to really breathe. Focus on your heart and take every breath in and out of it. Prove to yourself once and for all, how powerful you really are…

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/confession-18/

Confession #17

After watching the Brene Brown special on Netflix recently (for the fourth time) I have been forced to think about vulnerability and courage in my own life. Two words she talks about in length. Some may think they are opposite ends of the spectrum, but after allowing yourself to move fully into either one of those, you will quickly find that it is impossible to have one without the other. Those two things are so intertwined that they cannot be separated.

Something came up recently that brought those two words to the forefront…..what if we just all did those hard things. What if we just went for it and had those hard conversations. Maybe it’s the conversation with your partner about how alone you feel. Maybe it’s with a friend that you just know isn’t good for you anymore. Maybe it’s that you need to leave a marriage you knew you should have left years ago. Maybe it’s with your boss about how miserable you are at your job. So, what would that look like?

I think most of the time we tell ourselves a lie about “not wanting to hurt” the other person. The lie that continues the perpetual pattern of not speaking your truth. But in my honest opinion, it has nothing to do with the other person. It is all about protecting ourselves. About staying “safe” in our comfort/misery/fear. We are terrified of the unknown and what having those conversations may mean or who may not “like us”. What would really happen if we spoke from our hearts. And if we are being completely honest, what we are most scared of is what may happen to US…not the other person. Which obviously doesn’t serve anyone in those situations. Let me ask you this. If your partner was feeling like they couldn’t be with you anymore, would you want them to stuff that down? To hold those feelings from you and just go through the motions, knowing deep inside the resentment continues to build? Would you want a friend that secretly feels like you are toxic for them and is silently figuring out ways to severe the friendship? As hard as those losses may be, would you really want the person to stay quiet because of fear? I know I wouldn’t.

Now, I’m not saying go tell your boss tomorrow you despise her or him and can’t stand working for them. But what if you just finally had a real conversation, from your inner being, speaking your truths. Being honest about what it really feels like to work for her or him. As I see it, there are only two outcomes anyway. Outcome one, she fires you, on the spot. You go home and are overwhelmed with fear and guilt for a few days. Then a couple of days later, you get a random phone call from a friend telling you about your dream job that just opened and…you get it. Or, outcome two, your boss, who was terrified herself of being vulnerable, thanks you for being so open and honest. In fact, she is so impressed, she is promoting you and you guys open up an amazing, commutative, relationship. You also now have your dream job.

Now, wouldn’t either of those scenarios be worth it? Wouldn’t all those fears you had made up in your mind be proven to be, of course, completely false? There’s something that Jim Carrey said while doing a commencement speech along the lines of, most people don’t know the difference between a dog that is chasing you in your mind and one that actually is in real life. This is why our minds can be so tricky and tempting to listen to. But the more you are able to just do “those things”, those things you are terrified of doing, of saying, of feeling, the more that the universe just opens up to you and brings more opportunity and joy into your life. I know this because I have seen it time and time again in my own life, when I have chosen to not let the dog that was chasing me in my mind to control me any longer.

I think this is what true vulnerability and courage is. To open ourselves up to the unknown. To do or say something without knowing what the outcome may be, but sticking to what we feel in our hearts anyway. To follow your heart unapologetically. To be willing to always go within and put a mirror to those sides of us we have tried to keep hidden for so long. And then share all of that with someone you love.

Because I have lived through it, I can tell you without a doubt that living in limbo or indecision is much more painful and heartbreaking than any outcome that may come from doing or saying those hard things. It is brave to make a decision to speak your truth. I couldn’t think of a better explanation for what courage is!

So ask yourself today, what have you been holding back? Is it time to tell your friend enough is enough? Is it time to choose you today instead of giving away everything you have to everyone else? Is it time to take the leap into the unknown of creating your dream career? Or maybe it’s just telling your husband you need more from him. Maybe it’s telling someone you are dating that you just don’t think it’s going to work. Or better yet, maybe it’s lovingly telling your sister to mind her own business:-)

Whatever it may be for you, I challenge you to get into the arena instead of just being a commentator on the sidelines. Be willing to get dirty and get the shit kicked out of you. Because the only way to feel the joy of mastery in your own life, is to be willing to step through the doors…

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/confession-17/

Confession #16

“Owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do.” -Brene Brown

“It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for something you are not.” -Andre Gide

Coming out of the closet. What does that mean to you when you hear those words? Most people would assume it means someone who is gay or bisexual  “coming out”….telling their friends and family who they really are. I recently watched an episode of American Idol and there were two young men auditioning that shared their own personal stories of being gay and the pain they have felt with fully living that life. One of the man’s father was a preacher. He had grown up in the church but knew at 9 years old he was gay. He even tried to “pray the gay away”, as he was raised with the belief that being gay meant eternal damnation. He lived with that secret for 10 years, giving in to the fact at one point that he would just never get to live the life he dreamt of. And even after finally telling his parents he is gay, they still will not accept or be ok with him living his truth. He was broken, and music was his only escape from the pain. The other young man had not even told his parents. In fact, he was “coming out” on national television and only when his family watched the show would they know his truth. He was raised in Israel and once he was able to get out of the house, he moved to California to finally be able to live an open and free life.

I tell these two stories because it hit me watching them that night that we are all coming out of the closet in some way in our own lives. We all hold that truth inside of us that we are scared to share with the world, with our friends, and most importantly, our family. I saw how that reflected in my own life and realized I had always been a “spiritual person” deep down inside. I had always known my own truths that I was too afraid to share with people. Always covering myself up with having lots of friends, staying busy, and doing what everyone else told me I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to live.

I think we all know our own truths at a very young age. What we are supposed to do in this lifetime and what our true purpose is. But that light gets diminished over time and we start to believe everyone else knows our truths better than we do. We start to learn how to hide in plain sight. We become very good at “adapting” and playing the lead role in the play of what life is supposed to like. At least I know I did.

For me, beginning my own journey of self-discovery became very much like coming out of the closet. People had always told me I was smart, deep, thoughtful, an old soul starting at a very young age. That I could do so much with my life. But their perception of  “so much I could do with my life” was not the same as what I would learn to be mine. It wasn’t going to college for 4 years to get a piece of paper saying I was officially labeled smart. It wasn’t getting some big-time career only to work all hours of the day to make endless amount of money while dying a little inside. It wasn’t having a husband with 2.5 children, a dog, a cat, and a lifetime of keeping up with the Jones’s. Don’t get me wrong; I am not bringing down any of that. I’m not judging those that do those things in their own lives. I just knew it wasn’t meant for me. That isn’t my perception of doing so much with my life. Those aren’t my truths. But it took doing some of those things to shove me onto the path of self-discovery and really finding out, or better yet, remembering, what my truths are. And when I discovered that truth, who I really was, I came running out of the closet. It may have taken awhile to get the courage to turn the knob. But once I cracked the door, there was no turning back……

It was not easy for me to tell the world who I really was. To really own it. Own my truths. In fact, I am still discovering how to do that better every day. But I remembered something the other day that I hadn’t thought about in a long time. About six months before I left my marriage and began a new life, out of the closet, I remember watching an episode of Oprah’s super soul series. She was interviewing Diana Nyad who I didn’t really know at the time but for some reason she really spoke to me. This woman is amazing to say the least but it’s something in particular she said that changed the course of my life. She had broken the record for swimming from Cuba to Florida nonstop. I believe it was a 56-hour swim or something crazy like that! She had other medals for long distance swims, but that was definitely her biggest. She is now in her late 60’s and was talking about how she thinks about the end of her life more now. She doesn’t believe in a God necessarily….in fact she even called herself an atheist. But she said, as death gets closer, and she reflects on her life, she doesn’t care about world records, or medals, or how much money she has accumulated, or how much fame she has. What she thinks about most is the kind of person she is and if she is really proud of who she is and what she represents and HOW she has lived her life. If she really showed up. That hit me hard in that moment. I had started down this path months before I watched that and was becoming much more self-aware. I asked myself the same question in that moment. It was a big fat mirror in my face. And what broke my heart, was that I KNEW I was not living a life I was proud of. I was not being the me I was proud of. I was not proud of what I was showing my kids life was like….or better yet a lack of what life could be. I was not living a life of purpose. I had this inner deep desire to make a difference in the world, to make my life “matter” and I wasn’t living anything close to that. It’s one thing to tell your kids they can do anything they want with their life, and happiness is more important than anything else, and a whole other thing to actually show them. I knew I wasn’t showing them.

It took me another 6 months after watching that to “come out”. But the reason I am telling that story is because I thought about it the other day and asked myself that question again. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for MYSELF at that moment. Because I could finally really and truly say I am proud of the person I am today, the way I live my life, what I show my kids is possible, and making a difference in the world just by showing up! I live by example and most definitely live a life of purpose. It has not always been a walk in the park but what a payoff!

We all have our own inner demons, our shadows, our closest to hide in. But just by taking one step out of them, and living fully in our truths, we are changing the world. Because all those people we think are or will judge us? Those are just our own judgments against ourselves. And by taking that step, we are telling our insecurities, our own internal self-hate, our own bullshit, no more. You will not give in to the self created fear. You will not listen to those voices anymore. We will only listen to the voices that ask if we are proud of the lives we live. Diana was just a voice inside of me asking the hard questions, urging me to make a move. Even now, I sometimes find those insecurities trying to sneak back in. Trying to keep me from showing the whole world who I am and what my gifts are. To really own them and myself. But I am readier now than ever.

So, world, watch out. The door is open. And I’m running out of the closet and never looking back…

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/confession-16/

Confessions #15

It has been almost three months since my last blog post and yet it almost feels like lifetimes. There have been so many changes internally and externally I practically feel like a different person!

I left my last post as a sort of cliff hanger for the next one regarding our Supernatural Tour. Since I can so easily get distracted that second post never came.

Because I would like to move on to some very important things I want to share, I’m going to stay with this short and brief description: Our Supernatural Tour was filled with complete LOVE and JOY. We made our way from Austin to Seattle and at every stop we were greeted with unconditional love, acceptance, and whatever help we needed to fulfill our mission of the trip! While we didn’t get as many interviews as I had planned, we created vortexes of love at every stop. We grew our “family” and made lasting relationships. We ended it in the most unbelievable way in Seattle, Wa with an amazing group of people, all together, in one house, for 2 days. We laughed, we loved, we cried, and most importantly, grew the energy of love. I realize now, THAT was my mission and purpose of the tour. To just be love and spread it at every stop we made. I’m so beyond grateful and humbled at all the amazing support and help we had to make that experience a once in a lifetime thing. And it certainly was!

Now on to part two…

I created a mind movie back in June of last year. If you don’t know what a mind movie is, I highly recommend looking it up and doing one. Basically, it is a live vision board. A movie you put together with music of your choice along with pictures and affirmations of exactly what you want in your life. Not only is it fun, it helps you to get VERY clear on what you want your life to look like. Most of the time, people can’t even get that step down. So they are subject to randomness in their life because they are too afraid to even ask for what they want. To get very clear on what they want. This is a great tool for you to do just that.

Anyways, I have since made another one, changing out some of the slides and different affirmations and music, but one slide has remained the same; “I help others through my blog posts”. When making this mind movie, I had been very active on my blog. Since then, many more doors have opened, other projects have come to front and center and my blog has taken a back seat. Which is why it is so important to continually update your mind movie as you expand.

In the past 4 days, I have received two very important emails from women that have read my blog. Women that are stuck in their lives and know they deserve more. I am reminded of why I started this blog in the first place and my deep desire to help women that are in a similar circumstance as I was.

This is coming at the same time as a project I am putting together with my partner and my very best friend. It all feels way too synchronistic…

I have been doing A LOT of inner work in the last three months. I mean, really getting dirty. Stepping outside of my comfort zones, going to those dark places inside, and taking leaps into the unknown. It hasn’t necessarily been easy, but the experiences I have had since December 1^st of last year are nothing I could have ever imagined in my wildest of dreams!

I can’t help to feel that it has all been to get me ready for this. To finally be ready to really let myself be shown and let what I have always known I had in me come out. To get beyond myself and my bullshit to REALLY affect others. Because it isn’t about me. It’s about the message of transformation and more importantly LOVE.

Through my experiences, I have come to realize that in the end, it really is all just about love. That is what we are all looking for and what we all want in our lives. Not love from another person; love for and from ourselves. True, unconditional love. But our programs, beliefs, and habits always get in the way and lead us to believe love comes from external sources. What a great way to keep us from looking inside where it has existed all along! I remember a quote from one of my spiritual teachers that went something along the lines of, “You want to be tricky, hide the divine in the one place humans will never look; inside themselves.”

There are MANY tools out there to help you move beyond those habits and programs. I am going to be sharing one that I am starting. But I will be the first and hopefully not the last to tell you, you should never stick to only one tool or one person that is teaching those tools. Use many. Use as many as you can. Expand yourself in every way possible. Keep digging to find that love inside of you that has always been there. If you dig deep enough, I promise you, you will find it. But we too easily can get trapped in comfort and habit. You find one tool that works, after a while, it too can become a habit. A program. Something for you to DO rather than to feel. A check mark off the list of things to do today.

Change is growth. Use something for a while to help you get rid of blocks, then add something else to it! If you aren’t in movement, you are stagnant. You can’t grow when you are stagnant. And remember, even the bad experiences are there for you to feel. We came here to feel those as well. Because it can get boring living in love and ecstasy all the time! We asked, Is there more, and that’s when more came. So, love those moments too. Know that you are experiencing them because you are ALIVE and that is all part of the experience. Because in the end, love transmutes everything! Nothing else can exist in love because love eats it all up. It is the very highest frequency. No disease, no bad emotion, no judgement, no hatred, no doubt, NOTHING can exist if you are in love.

With that being said, I know I am always guided to who and where I am supposed to be all the time. That doesn’t mean I always listen…. But I know that the compass is there inside of me, always, and it is up to me to listen to it or not. I have made some enormous changes in my life since September of 2017. Huge. But I have also gotten so much better at listening to my own internal compass, being open to where I am guided to be. Sometimes I haven’t understood why I was supposed to do certain things, but most of the time the answers come much later. When I am ready to see. And I now can see why certain people have come into my life and what I am supposed to do with them. I have always known that my partner and I were meant to change lives together. To spread the message of being able to jump into the unknown and trust in a future you may not be able to see right away. To spread the message of possibility and love.

There have also been an abundance of friends….or as I look at them, chosen family…that have come into my life since then as well. People that have held me up and loved me more than I could love myself in some moments. Held me and cried with me and laughed with me. Accepted me with no conditions. Those are the people I would choose every day for forever. I suppose I already have in many lifetimes before.

The point is, I have been lucky enough to also form partnerships in business with them and joined almost a team of transformation. Since I obviously am a strong believer in having many different pieces of the puzzle when it comes to tools, I want to work with different tools and techniques in assisting others to transform their lives. To find that love and connection inside of them.

So, I will be starting a 30-day, sort of a “scientific testing”….although that word is used VERY loosely! I will be working with my partners on this, to get an aspect of each of our teachings. The amazing part is, each of our three teachings build on each other. It starts with getting a new perspective on your whole world and life. A sort of paradigm shift in your reality. Then you will be led into a technique that will assist you in “cutting the connection” to old beliefs and emotions. The last step will include some heart opening and breath work to get the emotions out of your body. The three parts make up a sort of whole.

We’ll then host our first retreat in Cancun, where we will then add the Lucia light to the mix which will open up their connection to ourselves even more. Then we’ll go even deeper after clearing many old belief systems and stuck emotions.

My passion and dream and purpose in this life is to inspire others into change themselves. To show them through my living that it really is possible to live everything you want. To not have to live in fear or worry or stress or anything that keeps you from being happy. I feel I can do a small part of that by helping others with these seemingly simple steps. Change doesn’t have to be complicated. Love is not complicated. It is really very simple. You just have to be willing to take the first step.

I hope that you will join me in taking a step towards freedom in your own life. That you will say today, enough is enough. I am done with being a victim TO life and am 100% ready to become a creator OF life. There’s no better time for change then this moment…

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/confessions-15/

Confession #14

Supernatural Tour: Part One

One of my teachers once said, everything you do in life, whether it be parenting, running a business, or just running your day, it all comes down to love and logistics. Our Supernatural Retreat was no different. It all came down to love and logistics.

Which brings me to part one. I’m going to start with logistics. While going into the tour, I knew the dates we would leave, the dates we needed to be at the finish line, and a few of the definite stops along the way and the people that may be at those stops, the rest was left to the unknown.

In fact, there were many unknowns jumping into this thing. I really couldn’t even tell you why I was doing it in the first place. Except for that I wanted to show my kids. I wanted them to see extraordinary people living extraordinary lives. People who may not live a “conventional” life, but that living that life is exactly what has brought them true freedom and joy. I knew I wanted to share stories of people’s healings with the world. But beyond that, it was just something that came to me in a meditation one day that I just couldn’t seem to shake. It was something my soul was calling me to do for some reason unknown to me. But I have learned enough now to know that when the soul calls, the body must follow.

So we officially started the tour off in Austin, Texas, staying with a woman we had never met for the weekend. We flew from the Philadelphia airport to Austin on October 19^th. I had planned on us staying in an Airbnb near the airport that night as I knew it would be a little late coming in and if this woman had 50 cats, at least we would only have to endure it for one night!

Well she used her southern charm on us and apparently that is a very real thing. We decided to skip the Airbnb and take a lyft directly to her house in Kyle, TX. Well there weren’t 50 cats and in fact, despite our fears trying to work themselves in, her house was a little piece of heaven….as was she.

Saturday, we had a gathering of about 22 people. People came from hours away to join in on being a part of the tour. Originally, I had reached out to friends I have met through the work of Dr.Joe Dispenza. There is a big Facebook community online that people go to from all over the world that are practicing Joe’s meditations and teachings. That was a majority of who I was reaching out to, to try and connect with on our tour and get interviews from. I relied heavily on locals for reaching out to people in their area that would be interested in joining us for a day to meditate, interview, and just join in on the love and laughter.

Austin did not disappoint. There was only one person there (my friend that put the whole gathering together!) that we actually knew and the rest we had either met briefly online or hadn’t met at all. We meditated together, ate tons of amazing food, did some coherence healing meditations, and plenty of interviews. By the end of the day, as it always goes, we felt like one big happy family.

The next day we flew into Las Vegas to pick up our RV on Monday morning. Our little home that would be ours for the following 10 days. It was completely self-sufficient with a comfy bed, bathroom, shower, and fully operable kitchen. We were able to meet up with a very good friend of ours before heading off into the sunset.

From Las Vegas we drove to Sedona, AZ. We really only had one intention in mind for going to Sedona. We had both been there before, so it wasn’t the scenery. It was one particular person. A person we met one year before almost to the date! More on that in part two.

We stayed 2 days in Sedona, rode around some trails on a rented side by side, watched beautiful sunsets, and of course visited the famous church on the rocks.

From Sedona we moved on to Phoenix, Arizona where we met up with some amazing people. We gathered for a walking meditation on the morning of October 25^th, followed by breakfast. We had some great convos throughout the day and gathered for a feast that night.

We hit the road early the next morning for San Diego, driving pretty much all day. It was a gorgeous drive and we were greeted by an amazing friend late that night. As it seemed to be the theme, we parked in her driveway that night and were so excited just to be able to plug in our RV….and have Wi-Fi!

San Diego turned out to be much quieter as I didn’t have much planned for our stop there. We were able to meet up with one Dr.Joe student who had made some tremendous changes in her life since we first met her in Santé Fe in February. She preferred to keep her story to just us for now, but stay tuned

We also had the pleasure of meeting up with another friend we hadn’t seen in a year and her adorable doggies. It was definitely one of our most favorite stops. As soon as you walked into her house, you could feel such warm and happy energy. It took over your whole body and you didn’t want it to end. Even the smell of her house was amazing. Her private little outside oasis with the San Diego sun and warmth was heavenly. One hour there was nowhere near enough time!

We decided the smartest move would be to avoid Sunday morning traffic in LA and drive that night. We left San Diego after a great dinner with the friend we were staying with and headed straight for Ojai, California.

We arrived in Ojai in the wee hours of the night, sleeping with our heads pointed straight downhill. Little did we know our friend’s house who we were parking at that night was on a fairly steep incline. Well at least it felt steep after all the blood had rushed to my head by morning:-)

We spent 3 amazing hours at our very dear friends house. To say her house is beautiful is an understatement. It reminded me of a very old Spanish hacienda mission style, but something the deeply spiritual would build. As soon as we walked into her house, both our bodies were buzzing. Literally. The energy was beyond this world and every nook and cranny felt like it held a secret. In knowing her, I knew she would probably have a pretty awesome house, but it was 100 times that. I completed an interview with her, and, yet again, it was hard to say goodbye. But our longest haul of the trip was inching close.

After leaving Ojai we were in for the longest stretch of driving. Ojai to San Francisco, driving up the old Pacific Hwy (hwy 1) the whole time. If you have never drove up that highway, I would most definitely add it to your bucket list. The views were something I have never seen before. The colors of the sunsets were so vivid and breathtaking. Literally it took my breath away. You can’t not believe in something beyond us when seeing sights like that. It truly is a spiritual experience.

We made it to the Nepenthe restaurant right outside of Big Sur late that evening and decided the parking lot would suffice for parking the RV to sleep that night.

We were to meet a group in Sonoma at the Benziger Family Winery at 2 pm that afternoon so another early morning rise and long day drive for us. From Big Sur to San Francisco it was again, spectacular views.

I have never been to wine country before, but it was BEAUTIFUL. The particular winery we met our group at is a biodynamic winery, which if you don’t know what that is, I definitely recommend you look it up. Pretty cutting-edge stuff and so inspirational!

We had a group of about 15 people to do the wine tour with and a short meditation before the tour. I only completed one interview while at the winery, but it was amazing. As was the theme, there was only one person there I had previously met and was friends with and the rest met for the first time.

We had dinner after our wine tour in Sonoma and shared some amazing stories and laughter. It was the perfect group with the most perfect people!

We parked that night in the driveway of the lady and her husband’s house that put the gathering together. And I am so happy to say now that they are both soul friends. After dinner the great conversation extended to their house and then again in the morning before leaving. As the theme became very common, it was hard to leave that morning.

It was supposed to be a short jaunt over to Sacramento to stay the night there but as it goes, traffic, side of the road naps, and finding a gas station that takes American express (in other words, the unknown!) seemed to throw some wrenches in that plan.

We arrived at my very very dear friend’s house in Woodland Park around 5 pm on Tuesday, the 30^th. This was especially exciting for me because I had been waiting to see her and her family for over a year. She cooked an enormous meal for us and some other friends that made it over for dinner. It was a meal for God’s! Not to mention the amazing conversation and the closeness we all felt. So much so that I was too enmeshed in the moment to do any actual interviews.

Once again it was a very early rise before sun up and on the road again. Our last long stretch of the trip. We drove through the Redwood forest in northern California only to be greeted by the Pacific Northwest rain upon entering Oregon. We made it to an actual RV park in Port Orford Oregon and were beyond excited to stay somewhere with FULL hookups. It definitely wasn’t anything to write home about, but hey, after living in an RV for over a week, and sleeping in parking lots and driveways, the little things counted.

We got up the next morning and hit the road. We had plans to meet some friends in Olympia for dinner and it would be our last long day of driving. And even though it was nearing winter and we were driving half the day on the Oregon coast and the other half through central Oregon and then into Washington, it was beautiful sunshine and towering pine trees. While it’s no California coast, it is beautiful in its own Pacific Northwest way.

We met our friends for dinner in Olympia and of course, another great meal, great conversation and tons of laughter.

After dinner, we had yet another night spent in a parking lot and our last before sunrise the next morning to hit the road. We had to have the RV to northern Seattle by 10 am that morning and then it would be on to our final stop of the tour. Our big ending to our big trip.

After dropping off the RV we headed straight to the Airbnb we would be spending the weekend at. See, I knew from the beginning of our trip, Seattle would be more than just the final destination. It would be something magical. We would be surrounded by not only our closest friends but some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. But more on that in part 2.

We stayed in an Airbnb in Seattle for 3 days with 12 other people. The weekend was beyond words and after 2 weeks of being surrounded by complete love and light and then ending it like that, Monday night was a complete culmination of all of it. We had 2 of our closest friends stay with us Monday night at a very strange Airbnb near Olympia, Wa. We had dinner once again with some other good friends that lived nearby in Yelm Washington. But it didn’t matter where we were…it just mattered we were together.

Which leads to part 2. Love…

source https://thefreedomproject222.com/confession-14/